


Lost boy

by albina



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Bad Ending, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Harry is sad too, M/M, louis is really really sad, this whole thing is very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 22:56:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10886646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albina/pseuds/albina
Summary: Everybody leaves Louis. Harry is no exception .





	Lost boy

**Author's Note:**

> So, i keep traslating my own works, so please don't hesitate to tell me if it sucks. I haven't work as a translator for a long time, i almost don't know what I'm doing. Other than that, thank you so much for reading, hope you like it xx

Louis doesn’t have much. He has a coffee machine because he couldn’t last without coffee. He has a broken TV. He has a sofa with two barely visible dents.  He has a set of candles he never lights. He has a photo frame. He has a layer of dust covering it all.

Things are not easy with Louis. He’s the one, who’s always left behind. It’s always been like that: his childhood friend, Stan, left when he realized other kinds are more dun to play with and have more toys. His roommate Zayn left the second they graduated uni, because Louis almost never cleans up and often gets lost in his own head. Louis’ family left because he was gay.

Harry, the only person Louis loved in the span of his twenty five year old life, left, too. Louis thinks, Harry left because he got tired. Because Louis is depressive piece of shit and he held Harry down.

To be honest, Louis is quite surprised Harry even noticed him. Harry is a bright person. He always smiles and he wears bright shirts, and he has curls. Louis neither has nice hair nor beautiful clothes. They are not a match. Not even close.

But it never stopped Louis from loving Harry. From loving him painfully hard, with his whole heart.  With Harry Louis smiled, sometimes. It didn’t happen often, really seldom, actually, but Harry always noticed. Louis knows that, because when Harry was leaving him, he, among other things, said: “ _You cannot even imagine how hard I fought for your every smile. People shouldn’t live like this. It’s not healthy_ ”.

Louis hasn’t felt healthy in ages, Harry must have known that. Harry shouldn’t have appeared in Louis’ life to begin with. Louis is truly sorry he desecrated such a bright person.

When Harry was leaving, Louis listened to everything he said, but he was keeping silent. When Harry closed door behind himself, Louis walked to his bedroom and without looking inside, locked the door. There still were some happiness left, he didn’t want to let it out. There also was his phone, but Louis didn’t care. He didn’t have anyone to talk to anymore.

_Louis and Harry were sitting on a sofa, close to each other. Harry’s hair was in a bun and he was cocooned in soft, green comforter. They were watching Christmas movies third day in a raw._

_“Hugh Grant is my favorite” Harry said. Louis’ heart shrank. He knew he couldn’t get jealous over an actor. He knew, that Harry isn’t in love with Hugh Grant. He knew he was being stupid. Still, Louis’ heart shrank.  Several seconds passed before Harry noticed that Louis froze in his spot._

_“Lou…what is it?”_

_Louis shook his head no._

_“Lou? Is it because of my comment about that actor?” Harry could read Louis well enough. He untangled from his comforter and pulled Louis to himself with warm hands.  In a heartbeat Louis softened in his embrace._

_“I love you, okay? I love you so much” Harry’s voice was strong and sure. Louis wanted to believe him more that he wanted anything ever before._

_“Thank you.” Was all that Louis could manage. He couldn’t speak of his feelings. It probably was easier for him to move a mountain than say “I love you”. He didn’t even know what he was he so afraid of._

_He loves Harry. Loves._

Louis works in a bookshop, and he is not required to show emotions there. He likes it. When he comes home, he usually reads. He’s used to reading. Books won’t leave him.

His TV set is broken. Harry left in the middle of the movie, and as soon as Louis was sure that the bedroom door is locked, he went back to the living room. On the TV screen someone was dancing to happy music and Louis really wanted to be dead in the very same moment so he took a mug from the table and threw in with all his force. When he could breathe again, the room was silent and TV was broken.

_Harry left unexpectedly. He just stood up from the sofa and headed towards the door. Louis knew immediately what was going on.  He could read Harry, too._

_“Forgive me.” He said quietly, when Harry was standing by the door._

_“No, Louis, I am the one to ask for forgiveness” Harry said while looking at Louis. “I am sorry, but I cannot live like this. I love you, but I’m losing my mind with you. I’m only twenty three and I probably don’t understand a lot of things. And I certainly do not understand you. I swear I’ve been trying my best, again and again. But I failed.”_

_Harry started crying and something inside Louis turned into stone._

_“I love you so much, Lou. Don’t know if I can ever stop. But I cannot be with you. You won’t let me love you. You cannot even imagine how hard I fought for your every smile. People shouldn’t live like this. It’s not healthy. I…Am I a terrible person? Because I leave when things get hard?”_

_Louis shook his head. He didn’t think Harry was terrible person. He thought Harry was the best thing that ever happened to him._

_“I love you. I love you, Lou. I love you.” Harry whispered in a low voice. Louis knew he will never hear those words again. He closed his eyes, clenched his fists, trying to hold the words for as long as he could. When he opened his eyes, Harry was gone._

Louis doesn’t take his phone from bedroom. He hits on the sofa in the living room and thinks that maybe harry is calling him and just can’t hear it. That maybe Harry wants to come back. He doesn’t want Harry back, though. He doesn’t want Harry to cry ever again.

***

Louis’ phone doesn’t ring in the bedroom. 

Harry thinks about him, from time to time, but he tries to move on.

Louis doesn’t move on.

Louis doesn’t have much. He has a TV, as broken as his heart. He has a locked bedroom door, where he was happy once. He has an empty photo frame for he doesn’t have Harry.


End file.
